When "Why?" Becomes "Who?" / Guest Post by Kelly Fay

In May of 2014, our family awaited the birth of our last little one, surprising us with her coming. My husband and I, and our eight children, ages 5 to 21, were full of anticipation and joy. What we didn’t anticipate was a series of events that would change us all for the rest of our days.

Beautiful Beatrice Ruby, 7 lbs. 7 oz., emerged in a flurry of emergency on an operating table early that Sunday morning. No clues had been revealed before her birth that she had grown and developed with only half a heart. Baby Bea looked just like all her adoring siblings, but she was on the fast track back to heaven. We got the gift of 49½ hours to love on her for a lifetime.

My faith, solid since my salvation at age 16 by God’s grace, was in for a trial by fire. I still knew He was Sovereign, Present, Unfailing. But could I still say He was Good?

I began a long walk through the valley of the shadow. My companions of fear, sorrow, and even anger were not kind. But after all the wrestling, when I came through to the other side, I saw that my Father had been there all along. And I had learned one of the greatest lessons of my life:

All our questions of “Why?” can be answered in the question, “Who?”

When I was unhappy with God and wanted answers, I didn’t yet know that those answers could only be discovered in the character of my God—who He is. In His patience and lovingkindness, and in His time, the Lord spoke into my darkness. He would not give me a reason for why my baby died, but if He is Faithful, Holy, Righteous, Loving, Just, Merciful, Gracious, and yes, even GOOD, He could do nothing to me that was outside of His character! Circumstances can be very NOT good. I don’t have to like the outcome. But HE is good and can never deny His very nature.

The great 18th-century open-air evangelist, George Whitefield, said it this way: “To explain God’s providence by His promise, and not His promise by His providence, I find is the only way both to get and to keep our comforts.”

In other words, we do not judge God by our circumstances but our circumstances by who God is. Those who base their beliefs about God on what is happening in the world around them create God in their own image. The foundation on which they build their lives is nothing but sinking sand. But what about the children of God? Our lives, no matter how perilous, demanding, or painful, are built upon the Foundation of the Rock, Jesus Christ Himself, secure and never failing.

One day in the fall of that year, I received a large envelope in the mail. Inside was a multi-page sermon/devotional shining a spotlight on the beautiful lyrics and lessons derived from the old classic hymn, “How Firm a Foundation.” A dear friend, whose adult son had died in a car accident the very same day that Beatrice left us, sent it to me, sharing the impact it had in her own grief journey.

What makes this hymn so unique is that the perspective, or “voice,” throughout most of it is of God Himself, as if singing to US!

The words of the last four stanzas are based directly on His promises found in the Scriptures. Isaiah 41:10 and 43:2 each begin with the command, “Fear not.” And then our great and mighty God gives us His promises:

• I am with you.  
• I am your God.  
• I will strengthen you and help you.  
• I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  
• I have redeemed you and called you by name; you are mine.  
• I will be with you in the waters, the rivers will not overwhelm you, the fire will not burn you, and the flames will not consume you.  

Finally, it all wraps up with the promises from Deuteronomy 31:8: “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” This one is very special to me. The reference is engraved in marble on our little daughter’s memorial marker in Dallas.

He gave her His best in heaven. And He gave us His best, too. From those in our family who were eaten up with anger, to the one who stuffed it for years, to the ones who were simply crushed, we are all better for having known her… and for having encountered the healing touch of the Savior.

What is your dark providence, the pain that has shaped you and changed you?

Have you, too, asked the questions for which there are no earthly answers?

Where has Jesus stepped into your broken places and given you more of Himself than anything that could ever be taken away?

If you’re still waiting for that healing to begin, look for His promises! They are stamped all over the pages of our Bibles, filling up His Word. His character guarantees His promise. The two are inextricably linked. “God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?” (Numbers 23:19)

Ask Him in confidence for eyes to see Him there and everywhere. Keep a running list of each place you encounter the truth of His attributes and His promises. He will not let you down. It’s just not possible!

Praise God, those promises are for our sojourn on this clay, but even more amazingly, for our eternity to come:

“And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new….” (Revelation 21:3–5)